There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
