So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
