Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
