i don't like sucking hair
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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