I feel like I'm in dance class right now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
