Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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