i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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