I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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