You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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