I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
