I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
