sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
