Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
how does that bad decision feel?
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