Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
