I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
