Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
