just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
how drunk are you?
Several
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
