then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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