This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
