So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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