I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
