just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
