ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
