i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
