I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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