your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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