she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
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he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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