Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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