and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
