The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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