just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
