here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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