dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
