I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize