So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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