This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
