Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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