is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
