Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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