he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
