theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
