haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
