walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
