she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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