OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
