Plan B is the new Plan A
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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