The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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