It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
