is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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