I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
