I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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