Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
