i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
