Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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