2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
