Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
