its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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