My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
