Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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