Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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