She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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