weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
