Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
