I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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