Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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