My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
