So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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