this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize