I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
