My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize